Beautiful…me & my life

I was out on the high street with my five year old and she was chatting away as usual; ‘My life is so beautiful, it is gorgeous and no one can change that’ and then she proceeded to do a cartwheel. I said ‘Amen’ under my breath and thanked God that she is happy. Later that same day I was on my bed when my twelve year old came in and started chatting. There is something about girls and chatting, even though I am a girl myself I do find myself having to consciously make sure I don’t switch off. My girls will be the first to admit that they can’t survive without talking (Read more) but when they get like this, sometimes I crave silence. Anyway my twelve year old had been rambling for a bit and then I heard her say ‘I have come out of my cocoon, like a beautiful butterfly, I am so beautiful and now I can fly!’. She spotted my distraction and said ‘mum, look at me! I am a beautiful and no one can stop me flying!’ Again I found myself saying ‘Amen!’

If there is one thing that I have tried to do with my girls in particular, it is to ensure that they have a healthy dose of self-esteem and that they value themselves. I have probably done this in an unconventional manner (Mirror mirror…)but I am satisfied with the results. It is true that actions speak louder than words and modelling the sort of behaviour we want our children to have is important as is sowing little seeds of positivity every time we can.

100% human, 100% beautiful!

Long hair rules

My five year old, like her twelve year old sister has a fascination with long hair and they feel that their hair, although it is afro, should be at least shoulder length.  While this is not an impossibility for hair of afro origin, it is not something that happens just like that.  I have had several conversations with my girls to try and explain this but they do not seem to grasp it.  On occasion I have put extensions in my twelve year olds hair and even my five year old has had extensions added in braids which has given them shoulder length hair which they shake with reckless abandon.

I went out with my five year old to the high street and as we were leaving the house she asked if she could have extensions.  Her natural hair was in two bunches and I didn’t fully understand what she wanted till I turned and saw her with bits of long hair hanging out of her bunches.

‘Don’t be silly, take them out! If you want extensions I will do it properly ‘ I said

‘Alright mummy but I think they look good.’ She responded and disappeared.

As we walked down the street she seemed to be fiddling with her hair and I saw what appeared to be bits of extra hair hanging out.  She caught me looking confused

‘Oh mummy look what happened!’

As she unravelled the hair from the second bunch she smiled at me and said

‘It’s a trick mummy, I have extensions!’

jo hair

 

She skipped along the pavement as happy as Larry with the hair hanging out blowing in the wind.

100% human, will have long hair by hook or by crook.

A Better Mummy

I happened to be having a chat with one of the mothers in the playground this morning and she was telling me about her conversation with her five year old.  Her daughter had discovered that she was attending parenting classes in the school and was totally against it.  In her opinion, her mum was good enough as she was and if she got any better, it could be scary.

I gave it no further thought till we were in the car on the way home:

‘Mum! Tia’s mum goes to classes to be a better mummy.  I think you should go.’  My five year old said excitedly.

parents-learn-too

As I wondered how to take it; whether to be intrigued or offended, my eight year old piped up:

‘What!???  How can you say that? Why does she need to go? She’s the best mother!’

Yes!  That’s my son!

My five year old totally ignored him and continued her conversation; ‘because then I can see you in the classroom, like you go to my school!  That will be so funny, mummy in a class learning’  she giggled to herself.  She continued giggling repeating the sentence to herself pretty much all the way home.  It was clearly a most amusing thought.

100% human, knows how to crack herself up!

 

 

Lovely Face

‘This face looks lovely’ my 5 year old said as she waited for her dad to pick up her facetime call.

I looked up to see whose face she was on about and realised she was referring to her own face.

I laughed out loud.  I don’t know why but I was surprised at her confidence.

‘It does does it?  How do you know?’ I asked

She looked up at me and said ‘because it is mum, look!’ And she ran her hand over her cheek with a grin of satisfaction.

‘It absolutely does’  I said, ‘You are right.’

She grinned from ear to ear.

I love the fact that she is so sure of certain things and is confident enough to voice them.  For now I am happy with it but I do worry however about how it will translate in her teenage years.

 

100% human. 100% confident…borderline vain, may need bringing down to earth

Girly Football

Mum why didn’t you sign me up for football club? My five year old asked.

Football club?  But you don’t like football do you?

No but my brother said there is girls football

Yes there is but it’s still football

No it’s girls football

Yes but they play football!

Girls football

Yes darling but it’s the same football only it’s girls playing it.

What the football is the same?

Yes

Oh I don’t want to go then, I thought it would be girly.

jojo-girly

I am here for you

My five year old daughter and my eight year old son were watching a programme they had watched repeatedly; they practically knew it word for word.

I was in the kitchen cooking when I heard a scrambling, a bang and someone sprinting up the stairs.  It seemed someone was trying to get out fast.  Minutes later my five year old was hanging around the kitchen, almost loitering:

‘What’s wrong, where is your brother?’ I asked

‘He’s run upstairs, this is the scary part’ She replied

‘How can it be scary? You have watched it a thousand times! You know exactly what is coming next’

‘You are right’ she said and shouted upstairs ‘Don’t worry, come back down, I am here for you!’

‘I am not scared!’ Her brother responded, he obviously couldn’t cope with his sisters show of bravery.

They both returned to the sitting room and I assumed all was honky dory.

‘I am five, you are eight! You are the older one, you should not be the one who is scared, I should be’ I heard her reprimanding her brother.

So much for being there for him!

100% human. 100% female…..always has the last word!

Only five!

My daughters share a room so my 5 year old is used to having company at night. Tonight however my 11 year old is away at a sleep over so when I sent my other two to bed I heard this:

‘Will you come and lie down in my bed with me please, just till I fall asleep?’ my 5 year old pleaded with her 7 year old brother

‘ No!’ He protested, ‘You never let me leave!’

‘But I am your little sister and I am only five!’

‘Exactly you are five now’

‘Only five, five is not a big number, it’s not 10 or 18. It is the smallest number apart from 4 or 3 or 2…’

‘But you are five!!!’ her brother responded frustrated

‘Or 2 or 1 or baby. Five is the smallest number! ’ She continued ignoring his protests.

‘OK since you are five I will come for five minutes’ He said cleverly

‘Five minutes??!!! No I need 43 minutes!’

‘Forty three minutes?!!! Then I won’t come at all’

negotiate

I left them to it ….. there was some serious negotiation going on and I was not about to get involved.

I returned to find them playing on her bed, laughing. After about half an hour my son came to me:  ‘Mum, I have put her to bed, tucked her in but she is still awake and her eyes are open, can I go to my bed now?’

I nodded and off he went. I smiled to myself as I thought about how they had negotiated and compromised and everyone was happy.

100% human, already negotiating!

 

Hair needed! 

A rare opportunity came about last week and my husband was able to take the children to school. I jumped at it because even though I work near their school, I know they love it and I feel it does a lot for them and their self esteem.

My husband called me after he had dropped them off and said that our five year old had not wanted him to take her into school.

‘Aww, nevermind, I am surprised though. It is probably because her sister always takes her in.’ I tried to console a dad in shock.

‘No you don’t understand, her sister didn’t take her in. I did!  But she made me leave her at the gate and she went in herself.’

‘That’s odd!’  I had my suspicions but refused to assume.

When I picked up the kids, I was curious to find out my daughters reasoning for not letting her dad take her in:

‘Why did you ask dad to leave you at the gate?’ I asked

She looked at me, rolled her eyes in a kind of ‘isn’t it obvious?!’manner and said ‘Because he is bald!’

Ooooooh. It seems this is definitely not a good thing for girls, I remember her older sister having exactly the same issue a few years back only she requested that he wore a cap whenever he ventured into the playground.

‘Would it be okay if he wore a cap?’ I asked

‘Of course! Then nobody would know he was bald!’

Tomorrow she is getting a certificate and her dad is able to attend, so I mentioned this to her and she said ‘no mummy, daddy can’t come, he’s bald. Anyway it’s only for mummies!’


True enough I can’t think of another one of the fathers in her class that is bald and it appears this is a cause of great embarrassment for her; I guess while she is confident in her own looks (That’s silly!), she is not ready to have a father that is ‘different’ yet.

100% human. 100% has issues with baldness in dads. For best results, grow hair!
 

Think about the shorts!

I was round at a friends the other day and she recounted a conversation she had had with her 11 year old son recently.

My friend had put on a pair of shorts and was feeling quite chuffed that she had made it into them without much fuss.

‘What do you think?’ she asked her son.

shorts

‘Well mum….’

Now, I do not know why we do this to ourselves, I really don’t!  There are some questions we probably should not ask.  She should have known at this point what was coming…but we are never quite ready are we?

(note to self: do not ask questions you do not want the answer to! Open ended questions are lethal!)

‘You may think that they look good, but the shorts look like they are in pain!’

Ouch!

100% human. 100% witty……will tell the truth with a bit of wit, be careful what you ask!

 

Buff!

‘Whoaaaaaaaaa!’  My 14 year old son exclaimed loudly.

As I was driving, I couldn’t turn to check what had happened: ‘what’s wrong?’ I asked, half annoyed because his exclamation had made me jump, half concerned at what might be wrong.

‘Just a minute, I’m recuperating’

‘Sorry?’

‘Mum, I’m soo buff it’s ridiculous!’ He said with a straight face.  ‘I just caught sight of myself in the mirror’ he explained, ‘I need to recuperate’.

I thought I was going to die laughing but I kept a straight face and said ‘knocked you for six huh?!  I know how you feel!’

Now I will be the first to admit that I encourage self love and rocking one’s own gorgeous et al, but I had always done it with girls in mind, my argument being that a lot of girls suffer from low self esteem and are victims to other people’s opinions of them.  You will see in mirror mirror how my little girl was born into this and didn’t even realise it was a journey!  Somewhere on my journey to loving myself and teaching my daughters to do the same, it’s rubbed off quite considerably on my son!

Oh well….

100% human. 100% Buff (in his own words!). Be sure to curb any signs of vanity!

P.S –  in case you are wondering what buff means; from the urban dictionary:

buff