I am here for you

My five year old daughter and my eight year old son were watching a programme they had watched repeatedly; they practically knew it word for word.

I was in the kitchen cooking when I heard a scrambling, a bang and someone sprinting up the stairs.  It seemed someone was trying to get out fast.  Minutes later my five year old was hanging around the kitchen, almost loitering:

‘What’s wrong, where is your brother?’ I asked

‘He’s run upstairs, this is the scary part’ She replied

‘How can it be scary? You have watched it a thousand times! You know exactly what is coming next’

‘You are right’ she said and shouted upstairs ‘Don’t worry, come back down, I am here for you!’

‘I am not scared!’ Her brother responded, he obviously couldn’t cope with his sisters show of bravery.

They both returned to the sitting room and I assumed all was honky dory.

‘I am five, you are eight! You are the older one, you should not be the one who is scared, I should be’ I heard her reprimanding her brother.

So much for being there for him!

100% human. 100% female…..always has the last word!

Think about the shorts!

I was round at a friends the other day and she recounted a conversation she had had with her 11 year old son recently.

My friend had put on a pair of shorts and was feeling quite chuffed that she had made it into them without much fuss.

‘What do you think?’ she asked her son.


‘Well mum….’

Now, I do not know why we do this to ourselves, I really don’t!  There are some questions we probably should not ask.  She should have known at this point what was coming…but we are never quite ready are we?

(note to self: do not ask questions you do not want the answer to! Open ended questions are lethal!)

‘You may think that they look good, but the shorts look like they are in pain!’


100% human. 100% witty……will tell the truth with a bit of wit, be careful what you ask!


Sweet Smell

My four year old has recently been through a phase of climbing into our bed in the early hours of the morning, (somewhere between 4 and 6am her father tells me!) and being as I am exhausted I don’t even realise it till I wake up in the morning.  This obviously means that she’s been getting away with it as my husband definitely isn’t going to get out of bed to take her back to her bed, instead he moves over to give her space!!!!  The other night she was faffing about in our bedroom and I was losing my patience:

‘Come on now, bedtime.  You need to brush your teeth and go to bed.’

‘Ok mum’ she casually responds and strolls out.

She returned almost immediately much to my annoyance,  picked up a bottle of perfume and started spraying it on herself.

‘It’s bedtime why are you putting on perfume?!’ I asked exasperated. ‘It’s not like anyone is going to smell you tonight’ I continued.

‘You and dad are when I come to sleep in your bed’ she said and promptly left the room while I tried unsuccessfully to keep a straight face.

100% human. 100% clever. Already knows the importance of smelling good.  God help me!


‘Shhhhh’ my ten year old said in passing.

‘SHHHH!’ my fourteen year old shouted.


‘Why does everyone keep saying shhhh?’  My four year old asked calmly, somewhat perplexed.

I was not too pleased with the way her older siblings had attempted to silence her but I understood their frustration at her constant conversation.

‘Because we are watching a programme and if you are talking we cant hear’ I tried to explain.

‘So how long do I have to be quiet for?’ She asked.  It was clear she wanted to comply but needed to know what she was signing up for.

‘Like an hour’ my ten year old said.

My four year old rolled her eyes; ‘How can I do that? Its not even possible!’ she blurted out surprised at what she thought was a totally unrealistic demand.

And you know what, she’s not far off.  I think that even if she did succeed, I would be concerned.

100% human. This one knows her limits and is not afraid to admit them.




Give me a reason to love…..

My six year old came in and said ‘Dad said to tell you he loves you’.  I thanked him as he left.

My ten year old overheard the end of the sentence and knowing how often her thirteen year old brother sends my six year old on errands, she assumed that it was my eldest son who had sent the message.

‘Why does he love you?’ she asked

‘He needs a reason?!’ I responded a bit surprised at her question.

She left the room in search of her big brother to question him as to his love for me.

She returned a few minutes later

‘Why does he love you?’

‘You will have to ask him!’

‘I did.  He is not answering me’

‘Oh well, I can’t answer for him’

She leaves again and comes back angry:

‘It was dad who said he loves you!!!’


‘Of course he loves you!’ she walked off in a huff.

I smiled.   My child needs a reason to love me but my husband doesn’t!

reas love

100 % person. Still grappling with this whole love thing.