I am here for you

My five year old daughter and my eight year old son were watching a programme they had watched repeatedly; they practically knew it word for word.

I was in the kitchen cooking when I heard a scrambling, a bang and someone sprinting up the stairs.  It seemed someone was trying to get out fast.  Minutes later my five year old was hanging around the kitchen, almost loitering:

‘What’s wrong, where is your brother?’ I asked

‘He’s run upstairs, this is the scary part’ She replied

‘How can it be scary? You have watched it a thousand times! You know exactly what is coming next’

‘You are right’ she said and shouted upstairs ‘Don’t worry, come back down, I am here for you!’

‘I am not scared!’ Her brother responded, he obviously couldn’t cope with his sisters show of bravery.

They both returned to the sitting room and I assumed all was honky dory.

‘I am five, you are eight! You are the older one, you should not be the one who is scared, I should be’ I heard her reprimanding her brother.

So much for being there for him!

100% human. 100% female…..always has the last word!

You can hope

My almost eleven year old daughter came into the sitting room to complain about the length of her skirt.  She has been wearing a 6-7 year old skirt for the last couple of years or so because she likes the style; admittedly size wise she comes up smaller than her age but not five years younger!   I allowed it because until now it fit her and did not look like it was many years too small.  Well now it does!  I have spent the last six months looking for a skirt in a similar style so the exchange can be made but every single skirt has been unacceptable; too straight, too flared, too long, wrong pleat………

Now you may ask why I tolerate this, let me explain; we are coming from a place where because of her allergies she would literally cover herself from head to toe and she definitely wouldn’t wear skirts, so I am keen to encourage her to wear skirts, but it is important not only that she is comfortable in them but also that they are decent.

Anyway so in she walks in one of the many rejected skirts (which I must add as far as I can see is identical to the much loved 6-7 year old skirt). As I have now seized the 6-7 year old skirt she is having to find an alternative.

‘Oh I like that !’ I said and I meant it.  It was smart, if a bit long.

‘It is a little bit long though’ I continued

‘It is sooo ugly!’

‘It’s identical to the one you love, just longer.  We can sort that out, I will take it up’

‘Okay’ she said reluctantly as she pulled the tag off it and flung it across the room.

‘I hope you are going to put that in the bin’  I said

‘Yeah well you can hope’ she responded quickly and attempted to continue speaking, pleased with her quick ‘witty’ response.


There is a fine line between humour and offense and this one is stepping over…

Dictionary definition of the word hope.

100% human. Will push the boundaries….O Lord give me strength!


‘Shhhhh’ my ten year old said in passing.

‘SHHHH!’ my fourteen year old shouted.


‘Why does everyone keep saying shhhh?’  My four year old asked calmly, somewhat perplexed.

I was not too pleased with the way her older siblings had attempted to silence her but I understood their frustration at her constant conversation.

‘Because we are watching a programme and if you are talking we cant hear’ I tried to explain.

‘So how long do I have to be quiet for?’ She asked.  It was clear she wanted to comply but needed to know what she was signing up for.

‘Like an hour’ my ten year old said.

My four year old rolled her eyes; ‘How can I do that? Its not even possible!’ she blurted out surprised at what she thought was a totally unrealistic demand.

And you know what, she’s not far off.  I think that even if she did succeed, I would be concerned.

100% human. This one knows her limits and is not afraid to admit them.




No I won’t!

I was driving a new car the other day…. I say ‘new’ but let me clarify; the car is new to me rather than new to the world, in fact thinking about it, the word ‘new’ is probably the wrong choice.

Any way, I was heading to pick up my two middle children and my recently turned four year old was in the car with me.

‘Which one opens the door mum?’

‘Don’t open the door!’ I said sternly, painfully aware of the fact that I wasn’t sure if there was child lock on it or not.  I certainly had not put it on and I couldn’t guarantee that my husband had.

‘Yeah but which one opens the door muuuum?’ she asked impatiently.

Through the mirror I could see her stretch towards the door

‘DO NOT touch the door’ I repeated firmly.

‘You have not answered me muuuuummmm, I still don’t know which one opens the door’. I could not believe it!  Was she kidding?!!!

‘DO NOT TOUCH THE DOOR!’ I said loudly.  Okay, I admit, I shouted!

‘Why?’ she asked casually.

Even though she only said one word I knew she had said many more…..something along the lines of  ‘get a grip mum, you are sooo dramatic, I only asked a question’. I chose to only hear the one word.

‘Because it’s dangerous. If you open the door you could fall out and hit your head on the road’ I said.  Surely that would do the trick, now she would understand why opening the door was not an option.

‘No I won’t’ she piped, ‘I’m wearing my seat belt!’.

She then went on to tell me how important it is to wear a seat belt so that when the car door is opened you don’t fall out!!!

100% person.   This one is a bit of a smartass, watch out!

Brush away

For a few years I have been planning to buy electric toothbrushes for everyone.  I had heard that dentists recommend them and I really felt that my children could do with some help in this area.  Finally at Christmas I remembered and every one of us got an electric toothbrush.  What a thrill!  I was quite irritated when my eldest son chose the very minute when I was using my electric toothbrush for the first time to ask me a question I had to answer.

‘I can’t believe you deprived me from enjoying my first experience of my toothbrush’  I complained.

He apologised profusely commenting on how exciting he had found his first experience.  I was glad, with any luck all four children would soon be brushing their teeth properly, regularly.

Speaking of regularly, I noticed that my three year old had taken to it like a duck to water; at every given opportunity she was off to brush her teeth.   I did restrict her but was secretly happy that I had cracked it!


Imagine my horror the other day when having heard the buzzing of her toothbrush yet again, I walked into the bathroom to find her standing there, toothbrush whirling as she watched it.  It was nowhere near her mouth!

It dawned on me: she has probably never even put it in her mouth! Oh my life! Don’t tell me this girl has not actually been brushing her teeth at all!

100% human. 100% clever. Knows what is expected of her and knows how to give the impression she is doing it.  One to watch!

I know what I want

My three year old daughter is teaching me everyday.  I was in the kitchen a few minutes ago and she swanned in (none of my children walk; they either bounce, bound, dance, skip, swan, glide, somersault, run or ‘fly’.  They only walk when there is something wrong.)

‘What are you making for dinner mum?’

‘Fajitas’  I responded gleefully.  Fajitas are a good choice from my kids point of view.  I knew I wouldn’t get any objections.

‘Fajitas are not my favourite’ she responded matter-of-factly and swanned out of the room.

As she left I smiled at her ability to know just what she likes.  It’s so refreshing.  I realise that maybe one will have to work on how exactly to voice these feelings without being offensive but for now I love that we seem to be raising a daughter who knows what she likes and doesn’t and is confident enough to voice it.  (I’m not quite sure how we are doing this but I am grateful.)  Having taken many years myself to work out that it is okay to know what you like or don’t like and voice it; having struggled to accept that it is okay to have differing opinions from the ‘norm’ and having watched her sister try desperately to work this out for herself…this made me smile.

I blogged about her other phrase ‘I don’t love it’ here

She is teaching me that you don’t have to like everything, you don’t have to love everything….and that’s okay.  It reminded me of a song we sing in church: I know who I am

The chorus says: I know who I am, I know who God says I am, where he says I’m at.  I know who I am.

Yes she definitely knows who she is and where she’s at.

100% human.  100% confident.  Knows herself.  Please make sure she doesn’t lose this gift.


Daddy’s girl

When my eldest daughter was born I found her relationship with her dad very interesting.  Unlike her older brother she had a confidence and an ownership almost, of her dad.  When she wanted to sit on his lap she would chuck anything off, her brother included and would just clamber on and make herself comfy. I marveled at it.  She could care less what anyone thought, he was her daddy and as far as she was concerned that gave her priority and she knew it.

Interestingly enough, my second daughter had exactly the same attitude almost saying ‘He’s my dad, I know it, and more than that I know what that entitles me to!’  They almost forced their dad to ‘dad up’ in a sense.

jo wedd6

So this morning I was most amused when I woke up to what seemed to be an argument between my two year old and her dad.

‘Stop it dad!’


‘Ohhhhhhhh dad! Stop it’


Did I mention I was in bed with my husband? Our daughter had come to join us and had become involved in this disagreement.

‘Daddy stop it!  I don’t like it!’

Then I heard a slap of sorts so I sat up ‘What’s wro….?’

Before I got the question out she replied:

‘Ohhhhhhhh daddy stop snoring!  I don’t like it!’

Dear Lord Jesus I almost wet myself laughing!  She had come into our bed and was telling her dad to stop snoring because she didn’t like it……I should have had this one earlier, I may have got a good nights sleep by now!


label: 100% person. Totally knows what she does not like!


p.s I will be picking her up on the slapping bit!




Runaway baby

I was at a friends house on Saturday, she lives on the first floor of an apartment block.  On this day for some reason there was nowhere nearby to park so I had parked across the street beside another building.  We were chatting and as it was a warm day the children had been playing on the corridor outside; rollerskating and stuff.   We were about to leave so I asked my children to get ready… well I had said ‘Come on, all those belonging to me, we are going! Shoes on, to the car’ and I kept chatting.

‘Jo is on the road’  my friends daughter said, almost in passing

We both looked at her but as there was no real urgency in her tone or manner, we kept talking.  Then it clicked, to my friend at least, and she stepped out onto the balcony, spotted my daughter walking on the road heading to the car and stood there shouting ‘Oh my God! Oh my God! oh my God!’


It was her repetition of  ‘oh my God’ that alerted me to come out onto the balcony and see my beloved last born strolling casually down the road reminiscent of her last solo journey and as I dropped my bag to go after her I saw her older sister sprinting manically behind her.  My friend continued to recite ‘Oh my God! Oh my God!’

So her sister got to her, saved her and brought her safely back to us.

My baby, in her opinion, had just been obeying instructions, after all mummy had said to put on her shoes and go to the car. Great!


Label – 100% person. Very clever. Does obey instructions……..sometimes.


Not tomorrow…..

I have noticed that my five year olds behaviour has taken a turn for the worse over the last few months and I am pretty certain I can pinpoint the cause of the change………but that’s for another day.

Over the last few weeks I have been very busy and my patience with the children has been affected.  Yes, I know!  Its my issue and I shouldn’t let them suffer for it but you know what?   They did!

On this day, I was particularly impatient, I had been at a funeral, emotions were high, it was late and I was tired, as were they.

As I was not sure when I would be back from the funeral I had put the children into the after school club; my five year old was dead against it but with some explanation and coercing, he went.  When I picked him up he was being extremely uncooperative.  Why?  Because he had enjoyed himself so much he wanted me to agree to send him to after school club everyday!!!  I was too tired for the fight….

‘ You have been very naughty this last week’, I said to him in my calmest voice, it was all I could muster.

‘I know’ he said with the most sincere look on his face, ‘but I won’t be tomorrow!’



Well………how do you answer that?

Label – 100 % person. Don’t be fooled, knows exactly what’s up!